Do you believe in Karma? I asked my Sunday teens that very question this weekend. I expected some push-back–some “but bad things happen to good people” arguments against the idea that there exists some invisible fairness force in the universe that sends our actions back to us like a cosmic boomerang–but 100% of their hands went up. I asked them to defend their stance. I mean, one glance at the news tells us we don’t live in a world where lightning bolts smite evil-doers and hate-spewers mid-tweet. Nor do the Mother Theresa’s of the world all win Powerball in order to fund their charitable tendencies.
So, if the universe isn’t immediately slapping us up ‘side the head the moment we step out of line (which, frankly, could be useful in some cases, just sayin’), is Karma describing something more subtle about human nature? Years ago Dr. John Gottman conducted a study on newly married couples where researchers counted the number of negative versus positive comments the couples used with one another. Turns out the researchers could accurately predict which couples would later divorce based on the proportion of negative comments (even those that were deemed “jokes”). That negative energy those couples were sending out–even sarcastic comments that were “just kidding” jokes?–they were poisoning their relationships.
Is negativity poisoning our society? There’s a lot to be negative about. I get it. Oh, how I GET IT. We can’t scan social media or the news and not be exposed to someone’s contempt or outrage. Sometimes that outrage is warranted. Outrage can be a passionate desire and catalyst for action–to change things for the better, to protect the defenseless, to give voice to those who struggle to be heard. It’s okay to be angry. It’s not okay to be cruel.
I’m not a Pollyanna. I know full well there’s a lot of ugly in the world. I choose not to feed it. For all the times I enter into the fray of contentious discord? I’ve held myself back 100-fold. I’ve walked away, gotten a cup of coffee, pet the cats and asked myself whether I’m contributing to the problem or the solution. I write hopeful, humorous romance, because I genuinely believe that if negativity can poison our relationships with others, then kindness and hope, even humor, can cure us. Yes, it may take a lot of kindness, and immense self-control, not to recycle the negativity that others hurl our way, but I have a drawer full of smiley-face buttons, and I’m not afraid to use them.
I leave you with one last thought for today, a book recommendation, actually. It’s called I Like Your Buttons by Sarah Lamstein. It’s a children’s story about the power of kindness. And kittens. And how the many small, positive interactions we have with others make us all happier–and sometimes come full circle.
It’s about believing in the power of love, and isn’t that what romance is all about?
YOu are always a ray of sunshine in a cloudy world, my dear! In that positivity, you are my spirit guide.
<3 I can't express how happy this makes me. I'm simultaneously torn between deep thought on the import of being someone's spirit guide and wanting to create a Pinterest page of what my spirit guide might look like. So far I'm picturing chipmunks and smiley-face emojis. LOL